On the surface: I arrived home on Sunday evening, exhausted. Spent the next couple days unpacking, cleaning, doing laundry, going through the motions of "normal". Little by little, my body starts to feel back in balance again. I am still getting sleepy at the wrong times, and have a headache every morning (also subsiding, gradually). I only gained 5 lbs., which is pretty good, considering the crazy schedule and lack of a kitchen. I'm already losing it just by getting back into a routine.
Once in a while, a memory of SB comes back and I process it. I am trying not to force it, just letting it flow through me as it needs to.
There is a part of me that resents going back to piano and voice teaching, and church choirs today. But another part of me is grateful for these reminders of that which is real and tangible. Otherwise, what else would I be doing? Probably, feeling useless.
Thank God I have my West Coast audition in a week, and it is now time to focus on Lucia. Not quite today (after 6 weeks without a day off, I must have some vocal rest!), but within the week it will be time to crank up to high gear.
I'm not sure how to feel about OSB..... I suppose my deepest, darkest fear is that it meant nothing, will lead to nothing, was just a scenic route, a random exit off the freeway.
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