D. and I traveled quite a bit this week. Monday's lesson was probably doomed from the start given that I'd come from an hour with S., over-singing and trying to understand what I now confirm is bad technique - I was getting sick, and my throat just would NOT put up with any bullshit. I was also pissed that she wasn't focused on me at all. As diva-like as that sounds, I ampaying her $50/hour. I know that it's summer, and her life is all about the Program she runs - which further adds to the pile of frustrations and dashed hopes I have when it comes to my relationship with That Company.
That's what I mean about being doomed from the start. The worse I felt physically, the less I was able to respond to D. - which led him to dig his heels in even more, until, after 2 hours, we shut our scores and retreated to our corners. I left in a dizzy, teary blur - probably more due to fever than anything else, but I know he caught it. Within an hour he emailed me, with sober reminders of what went well that day. There was also a masked apology in there for two things: 1. Insisting on his version of things, as opposed to the version I've adopted according to BV. 2. Pushing me ahead to a passage I told him I hadn't had time to prepare for him, and then beating me over the head for not being prepared.
Today, while I do have a full-blown cold, he and I were still able to meet halfway in a calmer place, and with cooler heads we both had an "aha!" moment: that 95% of the problens he's after me about, are fixed when I support properly. When he discovered this, we both realized that this is what he needs to underline first.... chances are, it will fix the rest.
Also, the librarian in me strikes again: I mentioned seeing a piano marked in my score, which was leading me astray and off my support. He roared and bellowed in his charming way, and in a nutshell told me to "screw the dynamics. Those are for the orchestra. You are the leading lady."
I wonder if I will ever get comfortable being in this position? I think I need to get me somma this:
Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, after all...... I mean, look at that! Diva-licious!
No comments:
Post a Comment