D. and I had what I can only call a gigantic "head butt" during Monday's lesson. We each left hurt and angry. As dramatic as it sounds, at the heart of it is this: we both felt the anxiety that came from my being away on vacation for the entire week before the beginning of Lucia rehearsals.
In that state, neither of us was being objective, nor rational.
Sad about how that had all gone down, I sought the counsel of The Two who know him best, and have often served as referee, and loving third party to the relationship with D..... they are to be commended for their patience and willingness to wade through this. I'm sure they have other things to do... yet they are unfailingly supportive, and will be in the audience with D. on opening night.
Their thoughts on the situation provided me with clarity, reassurance, and perspective.... all of which I completely lacked this week, as I went into MAJOR SURVIVAL MODE [this Lucia schedule is a thrilling roller coaster ride without a safety bar - the likes of which I have never experienced - I am already forgetting to eat, so I'm being careful to remind myself of the basics - we have staged the entire thing in 3 days. I have decided not to panic yet about the fact that my tenor has been out all week with bronchitis, so his cover is struggling through and my scenes with him are just a hot mess].....
Anyway, in a nutshell, I had come to Monday's lesson thinking of it as a "coming away" from My Beast, as a checking in of Vocal Technique in a sterile, "lab" setting. D. was expecting the whole picture, so that he might better envision the Artist as I would be presenting her to the director and conductor later that evening. The more shock tactics he tried to use to pull me out of my shell, the more I resisted, until finally we retreated to our corners, each waiting a couple of days to offer a defensive and emotionally-charged email to the other.
The Two offered a reminder of the Big Picture - mutual respect, and mutual goals. Everyone to your corners, please. TIME OUT!!
I was pondering it all the way home last night, and when I pulled up, in came a very formal and polite email (in response to a voice mail I left that morning) from himself, confirming my lesson time and the suggestion that on Saturday we "address any concerns and then move on in preparation for my performances".
I replied with 1. a reassurance that, given the positive feedback I'm getting from my directors, he had prepared me very well, 2. a reminder that I truly want to make him proud, and 3. a promise to be more brave.
His response to my "email love":
A very thorough treatise on "Io son l'umile ancella" from Adriana Lecouvrer - and an assignment to find YouTube clips of Tebaldi and Callas, demonstrating their abilities to "use music (pitch) as the means of conveying (acting) the musical setting."
I view his return to "lecture mode" as a sure sign that Peace Reigneth once again.
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