Monday, 5pm came and went, without a word from OSB. I fell into despair, of course. Also, complete defeat about my upcoming trip to LA. Still, I woke up early on Tuesday, reminding myself that regardless of my emotional state, this "Tunnel Year" is one of commitments: either I do the audition 100%, or not at all.
Half an hour before I was ready to leave, I received word that YES, WE WANT YOU. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! :)
If I may step outside of myself to be an objective observer for a moment, what transpired was this:
Tuesday
- 10:35am
frantically changed all my written materials to reflect this new item, tried to breathe normally.
- 11:00am
called C. and my parents to share the good news, but still felt lonely and bursting at the seams - wanted to celebrate, but the scenery and schedule wasn't right for it.
- 12:00pm
stopped by D's for a pre-audition vocal/mental tuneup/checkin. Had major trouble focusing and getting vocally balanced.
- 3:00pm
flew to Burbank, was embraced into the home of my brother and his wife - very understanding, grounded, quiet, and mellow people. Started to feel my normal sense of self again. Slept well.
Wednesday
- 10:15am
sang for HGO. It went very, very well. I was completely present and engaged for every note, and let the sincerity of each aria's character motivate the drama. Let the composer take me on a journey.
- 12:00pm
lunch with my brother and sis-in-law. Reveled in the beauty of the moment, didn't check my phone once (totally unlike me).
Without judging, I simply notice: good news can throw me off-balance, just as bad news can. But I am proud of myself for having the ability to gather myself back to center - and hope to remember the elements that help me to do that.
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