nuts and bolts

I suppose that, after the crash, this "waiting room" time is normal. The most recent excitement has died down, giving way to the prosaic, the day-to-day....and once in a while, thoughts of the recent auditions creep in. I'm ready to accept that nothing may come of either one - it's just the other side of the coin.

Another gig tonight, this one a freebie for a friend. In the meantime, my life is currently about bills, teaching, housework, scheduling this and that....my practicing right now is perfunctory and tedious, learning music I will never sing again, for smallish gigs that ultimately mean nothing but a much-needed paycheck at the time.

In the meantime, looking ahead, I am going through the motions: taking care of the details surrounding a quick trip to LA next month: Houston Grand has given me an audition for their Studio. This is so very surprising to me, because I applied repeatedly throughout my 20's, only to have them cash my check and send a "we regret we won't be able to hear you" postcard. This went on for several years before I finally gave up. And now, at 32, they want to hear me. I wonder what is on my paperwork, that prompted the change.

Two days later, I will sing for Philharmonia Baroque. That will be just plain FUN. Maestro PBO is this incredibly brilliant and jolly Englishman, who believed enough in something he heard in my audition a few years ago, to give me a job covering two very good and semi-famous sopranos in a beautiful (and rarely performed) Mozart opera they did as a concert. It was a dreamlike experience, well suited to me at the time; I will be really excited to sing for him again.

In the meantime, that week is far enough away that my attention is still on the "nuts-and-bolts, dentist appointment, laundry, to-do list" of it all. Days like this make the Singer/Artist in me seem so far away.

And then there's Opera Chorus...the black hole of negativity for which I must emotionally brace myself before each rehearsal call. Few situations in life bring me back to high school like that does.

Similar to that summer job you had after high school graduation (e.g. stocking shelves at Safeway or folding clothes at Macy's - you know, the one that put you among co-workers who reminded you how important it is to go to college); the OC is a reminder of why I want a solo career, and why I need to live life on my own terms.